Well if you didn’t know it was summer, the Lib Dems’ array of horrendous cream suits and sunshine-yellow ties are a clear indicator that they are excited to get their summer recess under way.
With temperatures and decibels ever-rising, it was as if Ed Miliband and the prime minister turned up to a street brawl with their gangs. It was slightly reminiscent of the film ‘The Outsiders’ where the Greasers (a teenage street gang – the good guys) take on the Socs (a gang of rich kids) and the backbenchers acted as the loyal back-up, jeering and booing when prompted.
Who won?
Ed started strongly by valiantly deciding to take on the NHS head-on as he highlighted that Keogh’s report indicated that there were ‘frequent examples of inadequate numbers of nursing staff’ as he asked the prime minister what he intended to do about the 4,000 fewer nurses.
The rest of the session slowly descended into a cesspit of repetitive answers and rhetorical questions from the prime minister as he managed to dodge what he has now been asked almost 10 times: ‘Have you ever had a conversation with Lynton Crosby about plain cigarette packaging?’
Wayne David MP shared a moving story about a registered blind couple who have written to the prime minister asking if they have to pay the bedroom tax. The fact that they had not received a response since February on the matter is something we need to be paying attention to. It reminds us that the Tories’ rhetoric and priorities are totally skewed.
Paul Flynn MP asked for David Cameron to study the meaning of the words ‘question’ and ‘answer’ and understand the link between the two, which prompted the prime minister to say that this government is the most transparent government ever. Right now. That’s right now in the middle of this argument about Crosby’s relationship with tobacco companies.
The prime minister’s answer to the question in question continued to be that the Conservatives hire Crosby to advise them on how to defeat the Labour party, but the Labour party receives money from trade unions.
The Labour party receives money from trade unions which represent millions of workers across the UK. Transparent.
The Conservative party receives money from a number of individual dodgy millionaires and lobbyists while hiring people like Crosby and Andy Coulson. Transparent?
Ed started strong, but unfortunately, by the end of it there were a few too many questions about Crosby, which if anything just allowed for Cameron to get a few soundbites in there:
‘Every day this country is getting stronger and every day he is getting weaker,’ shouted Cameron to Miliband.
The reaction provoked an eruption which suggested that the prime minister slammed a ‘Yo’ Mama’ joke.
Best (or worst) backbencher?
Graham Stewart MP tried to steer the discussion back to welfare benefits, but unfortunately, his question sounded like this:
‘This summer when Labour members are in Blackpool on their Unite beach towels, can blahiubqbhuiebaubuablah prime minister assure me blaheguabribauirbpablah free from Len McCluskey blahhfouepiburuablah welfare benefits as a human right?’
And the winner is?
After the disastrous U-turn on plain cigarette packaging, Dr Sarah Wollaston MP asked for the prime minister to wait to hear all of the reports on minimum alcohol pricing as she fears it ‘is on death row.’ One cannot help but feel sorry for her, as she will imminently be disappointed again. Can she not have one win?
Cameron: 0 Miliband: 0 Dr Sarah Wollaston MP: 1
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Pearleen Sangha is chair of Welsh Young Labour and a councillor in Swansea. She tweets @PearleenSangha