Under new management
Welcome to the Last Word. Think of it as the political equivalent of ‘The One Show’ only with interesting content. John McTernan is a tough act to follow – in every sense – but I’m sure that a potent mix of drivel and trivia is the only realistic way to proceed. Starting as we mean to go on, and replicating the genius of both Shakespeare and Dr Johnson, I will endeavour at all times to create new words. To whit: trivel and drivia are the first such offerings. As ever, you’re welcome.
Speaking of made-up words …
Never mind the bollocks
Readers of a certain age will recall the infamous trial relating to the use of the word ‘bollocks’ in the 1977 Sex Pistols’ one and only studio album ‘Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols’. Advertising the album landed Virgin Records in the dock under the Indecent Advertisements Act (1899). The case was thrown out when the defending QC demonstrated that the term ‘bollocks’ was not obscene and was originally used in Old English as a word used to refer to a priest and that – in the context of the album – was meant to denote ‘nonsense.’
Expect the term to figure heavily in descriptions of our national political discourse as we approach the general election. Labour had an effective January in campaigning terms – the NHS crisis caused by David Cameron is clear for all to see – but rattled by an effective Labour operation so far, the Tories and their media allies deployed ‘Operation Bollocks’ quicker than they would have liked. This operation enjoyed a dry run during the 1992 general election and was used to crucify Labour’s Neil Kinnock. The filthy campaign is under way. Nothing will be beneath the Tory machine; no distortion too absurd, no lie too big. Naturally, it will be ‘bollocks’ in the sense of nonsense. Still, never mind.
Spine-chilling
The thought of antiquated laws being resurrected and abused in order to crush the life out of modern practices, naturally brought to mind Jacob Rees-Mogg. Word reaches me of Rees-Mogg’s efforts to wreck the passage of Clive Efford’s bill to repeal the 2012 Health and Social Care Act at committee stage. A chilly committee room 14 this week witnessed the member of parliament for North-east Somerset produce a copy of Erskine May, whereupon he advised the committee that the Commons rulebook stated that in such temperatures the committee clerk is permitted to ask the doorkeepers to find candles so that MPs could use these for warmth. Unimpressed committee chair Jim Hood asked for the central heating to be turned up.
Has it come to this?
Theresa May’s dissolution of an inquiry into child abuse after six months of trying – and failing – to find an appropriate person to head up the inquiry’s vital work is incredibly dispiriting. The case for starting afresh was irresistible. Inexplicably however, the British home secretary has had to appoint an overseas judge to lead the inquiry. Consider what this means: Is it the case that the British establishment is so compromised by an inquiry into historic child abuse that an overseas judge is the only way in which to enable a genuinely independent investigation?
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Jamie Reed is member of parliament for Copeland. He writes The Last Word column on Progress and tweets @jreedmp
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