Narcissistic
Pronunciation: /ˌnɑːsɪˈsɪstɪk/
- Having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance.
I read in horror about Labour peer, Joan Bakewell, recently describing anorexia as ‘narcissistic’. My horror turned to frustration, I have always been proud of the Labour party’s commitment to mental health. And then to my dismay that, while Joan Bakewell made a sincere apology, such an incident made it clear we still have a long way to go.
I write here as a sufferer of an eating disorder. That’s not something I’ve ever said publicly before, and it is certainly not something I enjoy saying. But the outcry from fellow Labour party members at these comments reassured me that while it is me saying this, I will have thousands of Labour party members stood behind me and everyone else with an eating disorder, inside and outside our party.
I can’t claim to speak for everyone here, but to me an eating disorder is an escape mechanism, a safety blanket. Now that may seem odd, and I don’t expect Joan Bakewell to fully understand this – I don’t even understand it myself! I was around 10 when I first developed disordered eating, living in a small town, where everyone seems to know everyone and everything. I felt that my whole childhood (which while in the most part was a great, normal childhood, an alcoholic father made it somewhat difficult) was on display and by immersing myself in what began as fairly innocent, yet obsessive eating behaviours I felt solely in control of something for the first time I could properly remember.
Of course, as with the myth that eating disorders are about weight and looks, this was a myth, and it soon began to take over every bit of my life. When I look back on my school years now, I don’t break it down by what music I liked then, or who my friends were, which subjects I liked or hated, but by how I behaved with food. Whether food A or food B was a ‘safe food’. Whether I’d get home after school and cry or eat. Cry or not eat. It affected me to the point I used to be unable to speak for fear that people were looking at me. I wanted to be invisible, not pretty or thin.
Which was why I was particularly proud to take a contemporary motion on behalf of Nottingham South constituency Labour party to conference, which was passed unanimously and without compositing, which committed the Labour party to putting mental health at the forefront of its agenda. The appointment of Luciana Berger as shadow minister for mental health was a fantastic start, and I couldn’t think of a better champion for mental health, but we must go further.
I’d like to see training for CLPs to involve people with mental health difficulties in their work. A mental health officer on regional boards, the National Policy Forum and the National Executive Committee. Someone who members suffering with ill mental health can turn to, whether this be for advice on becoming more active or help to oppose discrimination locally or nationally by fellow members. Someone to educate members on mental health conditions, whether that be on eating disorders or otherwise because I believe Joan Bakewell when she apologised, and that she made those comments from lack of awareness, not to hurt. But that is exactly why we must challenge stigma and we are stronger when we do it together.
I have an eating disorder, and I am not narcissistic.
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Georgia Power is chair of Nottingham South constituency Labour party. She tweets @LabourGeorgia
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If you’re suffering with an eating disorder resources and information about local support are available at www.b-eat.co.uk
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