Who won and why?
When I found out that Nick Clegg was standing in for David Cameron today, I was looking forward to a good show. After his performance over the summer – first huffing his way out of a west London children’s centre when challenged about its planned closure and then shouting at public questioner who asked a question he didn’t like in a west country question time – anything could have happened. But sadly ‘Mad Dog’ Clegg seems to have disappeared along with the summer weather, leaving us viewers with a very dull question time I’m afraid.

So, if there has to be a winner, the prize should go to me – for sitting in front of my computer screen watching this for 45 minutes and resisting my desire to go and make toast instead.

Best backbencher?
Anne Begg – for asking a very serious and important question about the impact of the coalition’s housing benefit cuts whilst still having a good dig at the Lib Dems’ duplicity.

Best question, answer or joke?
Well, since Nick Clegg gave the same answer to every question – that any problems in the world were caused by the previous Labour government – then that should probably win the prize for the most used answer.

My favourite question was from Conservative MP Richard Bacon, who asked about a pressing rural issue – Chinese lanterns. Having told off Jack Straw for raising such irrelevant matters as phone tapping (‘we have a war in Afghanistan and a floods in Pakistan and you want to talk about phone tapping’), Nick Clegg thankfully was very happy to furnish Mr Bacon with details of the great work that BIS is doing to ensure cows don’t get hit by burnt out Chinese lanterns in the future, work that includes making sure that the lanterns are accompanied by safety instructions. Great news for the literate cows of south Norfolk then!

Photo: UK Parliament 2010