I’ve seen this one before. This time it may have been performed by the understudies but, in terms of substance and style, the script and the performance of this week’s PMQs was very much the same. Like a bad soap opera, the same storylines and the same dialogue keeps reappearing and repeating over and over.
Harriet Harman attacked the government on rising unemployment figures, especially among women and young people. Nick Clegg said how disappointing the numbers were before blurring the picture with handpicked stats which make it all look less bad than it really is, before claiming the problem started on Labour’s watch.
Harriet attacked the government’s economic policy. Clegg ignored the question and instead claimed that more jobs were being created in the private sector than were being lost in the public sector. Old Tory myths about the crowding out of the private sector by the public sector and their assertion that the private sector will fill the gap are back and here to stay. We have yet to develop a rebuttal.
Clegg, at various points, listed the problems the coalition inherited on coming to office and blamed them on 13 years of Labour government. I’m sure we did this to the Tories in our first term and I fear we will have to endure this tedious attack several thousand more times between now and 2015. No rebuttal was forthcoming.
As we have now done for the last five weeks Harriet attacked the government’s disastrous NHS bill, asking Labour’s stock question on the subject: why is there is no support for the bill among professionals and the public? This elicited from Clegg the coalition’s stock reply: you used to favour reform and now you don’t – why not? This too remains a question to which we have no reply.
As usual, at this point proceedings descended into a slanging match about whose record is best on the NHS and, as usual, this was the high point of the day for Labour. Harriet passionately and confidently asserted her pride in Labour’s record: waiting times down, patient satisfaction up, the number of NHS doctors and nurses up.
Clegg did try something novel, to the surprise of most (not least the Tories behind him who surveyed his performance with muted indifference), by trying to defend the NHS bill from the left and position Labour as the friend of privatisation. Apparently the bill will increase equality, ban ‘sweetheart deals’ with the private sector, and give the NHS more money.
‘Absolute rubbish’ was Harriet’s reply. This was hardly a comprehensive rebuttal: another question over recent months to which we have been unable to nail down an answer: what it is we oppose about the bill and why. The Tory backbenches responded with taunting and ‘woo-ing’.
Yesterday’s stand-in actors did an estimable impression of their leaders. Unfortunately, Clegg has improved considerably since last year. He trips over many a scripted line and can’t deliver a joke but, like his master Cameron, he has learnt to ignore difficult questions and to repeat and by heart the mantra that everything is Labour’s fault, which he delivers with the same degree of arrogance and conviction as Cameron which I fear, sadly, comes across to the viewer as authoritative rather than repulsive.
Harriet was earnest, at times passionate and always professional, she did well. Her performance was, however, similar to Ed’s in ways that lead me to suspect that it is the scripters and not the messengers who are to blame for my growing frustration with our performance at PMQs. Everything appears to be scripted to within an inch of its life and as Harriet dutifully read her prepared lines and scripted jokes everything got a bit wooden; the conviction and passion ebbed and the power of the message got lost. Like most PMQs in recent months it ended in a scrappy draw, both sides a little bruised, when on the substance of the issues we should be winning and landing decisive punches.
This week’s naff joke of choice (there were a few) was this: ‘It’s clear the deputy prime minister won’t stand up on the NHS; the only thing he stands up for is when the prime minister walks in the room.’ I’m sure it sounded good when the speechwriters were writing this stuff down in the leader’s office, but it isn’t working in the chamber. The script is also peppered with Labour’s approved soundbites.
‘It’s hurting but it’s certainly not working.’
That’s how I’m beginning to feel watching PMQ’s. This script needs a rewrite.
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Rhys Williams is chair of Reigate Labour party, and co-author of the Institute for Government report Party People: How Do – and How Should – British Political Parties Select their Parliamentary Candidates?