Ed Miliband is wrong: it’s time for a referendum on Europe. While we’re at it, I’ve never been consulted about the abandonment of the gold standard, so let’s throw that one in there, too. Ed Balls is a controversial figure: let’s have a referendum on whether or he should be chancellor of the exchequer. In fact, to hell with personalities, let’s just have a referendum in 2016 about the size of the stimulus.

Nobody really wants a referendum on the European Union. The Eurosceptics don’t want a referendum; they want to leave, and that is unlikely to happen. The Europhiles don’t want a referendum; they want UKIP to pipe down, and that is not going to happen either. Ed Miliband doesn’t want a referendum, either, so, quite sensibly and rightly, he’s not calling for one.

There are many arguments for an in-out referendum, and all of them are silly. There is the ‘final settlement’: that a referendum on the European Union would end the debate. This is a similar delusion to the one that underpins the Govian history syllabus, which imposes ‘final settlements’ because you’ve got to have two dates on the exam paper. But the nature of life is that a settlement is something you have until someone else disagrees, which usually takes no longer than five minutes. Elizabeth I thought that she had reached a ‘final settlement’ in the relationship between the government and the individual, in 1559. There are many odd views about the relationship between the state and the self today, the vast majority of them in the Tory party, but you would have to travel pretty far and talk to some very strange people to find anyone who still thought that the Tudors had it right.

Then there is the tactical argument. Dan Hodges writes that if Labour called for a referendum before 2015, it would accelerate the Conservative meltdown and put Ed Miliband on the brink of Downing Street, while Owen Jones thinks that a European referendum would allow the next election to be fought on austerity, not the EU. Which ignores the fact that, if the next election is one about ‘growth versus austerity’, then Labour will lose. If the Conservatives spend the next two years talking about Europe, that will be two years they won’t have spent talking about welfare, tax and spend, or immigration. We’ve sufficiently imbibed the right’s propaganda that we think that 1979 was a foregone conclusion, but if Harold Wilson had gone to the polls after the 1975 referendum, Labour would probably have won a proper majority, and if James Callaghan had done so two years later, ‘Thatcherism’ would never have happened. The 1975 referendum might not have healed Labour’s Euro-wounds, but it did patch them up long enough for the party to look briefly battle-ready. Why do we want a battle-ready Conservative party?

But the biggest argument against it all is that it simply isn’t how governments should behave. It is perfectly possible to imagine a leftwing government that decided that EU membership was a bad thing. But isn’t possible to do is imagine a plausible and successful leftwing government that might leave the EU, but wasn’t sure one way or the other. The only type of government that does that is one that has ceased to really be about government at all, but instead kicks the can down the road in the hope that something might turn up. You know, like this one. Ed Miliband aspires to something better. He should stick to his guns.

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Stephen Bush writes a weekly column for Progress, the Tuesday review, and tweets @stephenkb

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Photo: Rock Cohen