Lies, damn lies and statistics: Mark Twain would have been proud of today’s prime minister’s questions.
But ultimately it is boring listening to politicians arguing over statistics. It is the thing that puts the public off politics. It is not funny. It is not amusing. It is not soaring rhetoric that makes the soul take wing. It is just point-scoring, and dull point-scoring at that.
As we have remarked before, David Cameron relies rather too heavily in PMQs on the No 10 ‘Office for Dodgy Statistics’.
Today the argument was about whether hospital waiting times have gone up or down under this government. In some cases it was obvious even the ODS had failed to provide the right answer. And Cameron was left not answering the question at all.
Ed Miliband had a good outing. We all know in our heart of hearts the NHS is getting worse under this government. We use it, our relatives use it. We know our great aunt is waiting longer for a hip replacement and Mrs Smith two doors down has talked about going private because it has taken so long to get her knee seen to.
If we have ever ventured into Accident and Emergency we have experienced it creaking at the seams. In fact Dennis Skinner (Bolsover), who is 82, remarked on this. He said he had seen it because of his frequent hospital outpatient appointments.
So when Miliband attacks on the NHS we all go ‘Yay!’ And when he asks questions Cameron cannot answer, it is ‘Yay’ again.
Cameron, for instance, was unable to say that the number of cancer patients waiting for more than two months (the ‘guaranteed waiting time’) had gone up.
Miliband pressed: ‘Has it got better or worse?’ Cancer UK said it had got worse, he said. All Cameron could do was repeat his policies on the cancer drugs fund.
He also mentioned Wales. It is a favourite line of the Tories, and particularly of Cameron. When tackled on the NHS, he always says, ‘It’s much worse in Wales’ (where Labour is in power).
‘He can’t defend his record in England,’ said Miliband. ‘He couldn’t admit things were getting worse.’
And then Miliband asked about Accident and Emergency. ‘In the last four years have waiting times in Accident and Emergency got better or worse?’
Cameron’s replied that a million more people were being treated in Accident and Emergency and then listed the numbers of nurses, midwives and doctors that had increased in the NHS.
This is classic ONS material. It probably is not quite true. It is meaningless. And it begs far more many questions than it answers.
Miliband replied that 939,000 people were now waiting longer than four hours in Accident and Emergency – a 300 per cent increase.
Despite all the bluster Cameron knew he was on the back foot. Miliband was asking the right questions.
Cameron did counterattack later. He cited Labour’s recent statistics’ travails on job creation. It looked petty, particularly as he more or less quoted the Telegraph’s (formerly Ben Brogan’s and now Stephen Bush’s) morning email word for word.
Labour rose to the provocation. Andy Burnham, the shadow health secretary, felt he had to bring it up, as a point of order, that people waiting longer than 18 weeks for cancer had gone up since 2010. Cameron challenged it but started to add in stuff about 26 and 50 weeks. Most of us were thoroughly confused.
We had a glimpse this PMQs of the Tories stealing Labour policy as the election approaches.
Susan Elan Jones (Clywd South) asked Cameron if he would make it illegal for firms to advertise only abroad for jobs, yes or no. Cameron said yes.
Jeremy Corbyn (Islington North) asked about rent controls. Cameron said they were looking into letting agency fees, and longer tenancies.
The question which elicited the oddest answer came from Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East). She asked, ‘At the Tory billionaires’ ball, the defence secretary was sat with the lobbyist from the government of Bahrain. Can the prime minister tell us whether they discussed the fact that Bahrain is still not regarded by the Foreign Office as a human rights country of concern?’
Cameron started going on and on about donations and union donations to Labour. Clearly this was what he had decided to do if attacked on his recent fundraising do. But it did pose the question about whether Bahrain was thinking of donating to party funds. Surely they are not allowed to.
I’m afraid the best, or perhaps most absurd line, of PMQs went to the prime minister too: ‘Mending potholes is good for hardworking families.’
Good grief. Let’s have some more statistics!
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Sally Gimson is a journalist, a Labour councillor, and reviews PMQs on Progress