Women today are routinely informed they are playing reproductive roulette with their fertility. As more women postpone starting their family into their 30s, the calls increase for fertility lessons to be delivered in schools in order that women better grasp the risks of delay. But is delayed childbearing a problem, and preaching the risks to women a solution?

The average age of first-time motherhood has increased steadily over the last four decades, with women on average now starting their families in their late 20s. Some 40 per cent of first-time births are to mothers aged 30 and above, and more than 8,000 UK women had their first baby in their 40s in 2013.

At one level, the birth statistics demonstrate that fertility does not fall off a cliff at 35, and that, far from ‘missing out’, many women are successfully starting their families in their fourth and indeed fifth decades – although obviously birth data shows only the successes. Nevertheless, the difficulties women may face conceiving in their late 30s are frequently overstated. The shift towards later childbirth clearly goes hand-in-hand with the hugely positive developments in women’s lives and the opportunities available to them. It is not rocket science why women may wait – it takes time to complete education, establish a career, obtain financial security – not least find the right person with whom to embark on the significant responsibility of parenthood.

It is a shame therefore that the narrative around women’s family planning choices portrays women walking blindly into infertility, apparently lulled into a false sense of security by the availability of IVF and 40-something celebrity mothers.

Research by bpas shows that the majority of women who plan on having children want to start their families by the time they are 35. Many are worried about their ticking biological clock, and it is concerning indeed to find there are even women in their early 20s needlessly concerned they may be ‘running out of time’ to have children – such is the power and prevalence of messages about the infertility timebomb. The women we spoke to were also acutely aware that the risks of pregnancy and childbirth rose with age, both in terms of the pregnancy itself and the possibility of foetal anomalies – although again these risks must be kept in perspective. Very few say the availability of IVF provides reassurance when it came to delaying children.

The appropriate response to the shift towards later childbearing should not be to chastise women for their choices, but to think harder about how we can best support those choices. There are certainly women who would like to be able to start their families earlier than is currently feasible for them. The most important factor for most people in having children is being in the right relationship – this is not, thankfully as yet, the domain of policymakers. But there is more we can do to support couples as they attain financial security and a property of their own, which the majority of women say they want in place before starting a family. Many women feel combining motherhood and career remains difficult in 2015, and access to affordable childcare is chief on the list of measures that women believe would help them start a family. Many couples do not wish to raise a child in rented accommodation, and increased focus on affordable housing so people may buy their home must be welcomed.

But we must also make sure our reproductive health services – whether that is helping women avoid pregnancy, assisting conceptions, or delivering babies – are configured to women’s changing needs. To the extent that later motherhood is accompanied by increased obstetric risks, services must cater for the needs of older pregnant women, who may need more particular care. For those women who are having difficulty conceiving, NICE is clear – three full cycles of IVF are the most cost-effective and clinically effective, yet this is far from standard. The need for high-quality, sensitive abortion services for women not yet in the position to start their families, and for those who have completed them, will remain. There is no universal ‘right time’ to start a family – we should trust women to know what is right for them, and do what we can to support that immense, and individual, decision.

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Clare Murphy is director of external affairs at bpas

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JOIN US FOR …

The politics of motherhood: How does public policy shape families and can it do it better? in partnership with the British Pregnancy Advisory Service
12.45pm, Monday 28 September 2015
Glyndebourne 1, Holiday Inn Brighton Seafront, 137 King’s Road, City Centre, Brighton, BN1 2JF

Lucy Powell MP Shadow secretary of state for education
Sharon Hodgson MP Shadow minister for children and families
Jess Phillips MP Member, women and equalities select committee
Ann Furedi Chief executive, British Pregnancy Advisory Service
Cathy Warwick General secretary, Royal College of Midwives
Chair: Mandy Telford Member, Progress strategy board

Refreshments provided. Wheelchair access available.