Tonight in an adjournment debate I am going to bear my soul on the single most tragic event in my life and the life of any mother.

I am doing so to shed light on a problem that exists just beneath the surface. It is not talked about for fear of offending or upsetting.

As a member of parliament I have the opportunity to give this issue as a voice. As a mother I have the tragic experience and I hope that the government do the right thing and give local authorities the resources to scrap funeral fees for children.

Losing a child is an experience that changes your world.  Parents always try to do their best for their children.

We all want to give our children the skills to help them build good lives and we all want to go our children the latest toy or gadget.

As a young parent we save for Christmas and birthdays to be able to do this … but when you lose a child the only thing left to give them is a funeral and, in my case, a grave to tend.

When I lost my son I could not function and do simple daily chores like washing my hair or cooking a meal. When the undertaker was explaining to me what the plans for my little boy’s funeral were, I just wanted to hold my boy in my arms, not bury him.

I am told my son had a lovely funeral, I do not remember much about it as my world was black and nothing resonated in my mind. But I do know that several weeks later the funeral bill arrived and I was scared of how I could pay it.

I come from a community who reacted to my loss in the only way they knew how to – they had a collection. Thank god for my community, that collection was enough to cover three quarters of the funeral cost, much of which was local authority fees. A bank loan gave us the remainder.

For a very small amount of money, £10m, these fees for children’s funerals could be covered. This is a very easy ask of the government. This gesture would greatly reduce the cost of a funeral and in no small way give comfort to bereaved parents.

The prime minster suggested at a recent session of prime minister’s questions that the social fund could be used to help. I say to the prime minister that at the darkest moment of a parent’s life, simply filling the kettle is a major task – filling in a 35 page application form is impossible.

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Carolyn Harris is member of parliament for Swansea East. She tweets at @carolynharris24

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