Matt Forde on how to avoid getting shut out of the conference secure zone
It’s a real pain trying to plan your day at conference. No doubt you’ve got a planner of some sort. If you’re going with work you’ll have meetings booked in. Maybe a few fringe events have caught your eye. As a member of staff conference was the highlight of my year. Mostly because it was a bit of a party. Plus I got to see Tony Blair live. People who put on conference events always had my deepest sympathy. The stress of it, coming up with a catchy title, trying to get the party leader to attend, worrying about if you’ve got too much or not enough booze. There’s always the temptation to do something slightly provocative, which if you’re a charity you can get away with. Beware, though, if you do an event like ‘Balls to Cancer’ because there’s a chance you’ll get the wrong pass and have to stand pleading to be let into the secure site while holding a pair of giant inflatable testicles. With that ‘No Nukes’ guy bellowing in your earhole while his dog tries to chew its lead off and break free.
This year I’ve decided to get involved and teamed up with Lexington Communications to put on a night at the Comedy Store in Manchester with John Prescott. It’s a version of the ‘Political Party’ shows I do in London. I’ll do a bit of stand-up about the conference and then interview our former deputy prime minister. The show has run in London for about a year and a half and it’s amazing how much fun politicians are when you treat them with respect. Most interviewers now treat our elected representatives with complete contempt and it means that most political interviews are dull. As a fan of politics, I wanted to do something different and put on a show where politicians are the star of the show. I’ll still ask difficult questions and tease them a bit but it’s done in a jovial tone. Alastair Campbell came on and we read out some of his earlier erotic columns for Forum magazine, some of them quite graphic. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen the former No 10 director of communications squirm in his seat and beg not to have any more read out in case his mum hears about it. Michael Fabricant sparkled for an hour, mostly telling lewd jokes and doing impressions of Oliver Letwin. What I’m saying is, it’s proper high-brow stuff.
As a member of Labour party staff I often saw politicians in their true light and was constantly frustrated that they weren’t able to show that side of themselves in public. I don’t think we ever had that problem with Prescott to be fair, but nevertheless, it’s a shame that having fun with a politician is seen as a novelty and not the norm. We shouldn’t be ashamed either that we see some politicians as stars. If you’re a political obsessive, these people are like footballers and I don’t mean that they’re overpaid, irrelevant and illiterate. They’re fascinating people, many of whom have achieved great things and have some great stories to tell. It’s refreshing to hear them speak informally and sometimes inappropriately. So if you’re free at 10pm on Tuesday 23 September, come down to the Comedy Store in Manchester and see a different sort of fringe event. Oh and if you see me stuck at security with a giant pair of inflatable testicles please be reassured, they’re nothing to do with the show.
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Matt Forde’s Political Party with John Prescott takes place at the Manchester Comedy Store, Deansgate Locks on Tuesday 23 September at 10pm. Tickets are free and on a strict first come, first served basis.
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