So you really think that women are taken seriously? Er, think again. For every person that suggests that women nowadays operate on a level-footing with men in our society, there is another person who unthinkingly calls me ‘darling’ or ‘love’, or tells me, at the mere hint of a raised voice, not to get hysterical, or who suggests I am annoyed with them because I am on my period. Then there’s the editor who sometimes asks to provide an article on something ‘light’ to even up a newspaper section otherwise written by men, and another editor of a political publication who has twice asked me in for discussions about jobs knowing that I write for a living, and then offered me a job co-ordinating events.
Sure, we don’t have to hunger strike to get the vote, as the suffragette Marion Wallace Dunlop did 100 years ago this month, the first suffragette to do so, and I am grateful to her and her colleagues that they fought this fight so we don’t have to. But even a hundred years on we come across a multitude of issues every day that prove we are not taken as seriously as we should be, ranging from the big ones such as women earning less than men, to ones that may seem smaller such as receiving a letter meant for me but addressed using the wrong title (Mrs) and my husband’s initial and surname, feeling unsafe walking home after a night out, or at a posh restaurant my husband being given the menu with the prices on it whereas mine had the price column blank. Or take the lunch I had with four female friends, three of whom had babies, and all of whom were looking after their babies while their male partner was at work. Or the fact that I noticed the loo was dirty and I didn’t clean it, and nor did anyone else.
So what do we have to do for women, and for inequalities large and small, to be taken seriously? If it’s not an issue for hunger strikes then what does it call for? I’d suggest seven things that would be a good start.
We have to be proud to call ourselves feminists and be associated with a movement that wants to achieve equality and choice for men and women. We have to stop being embarrassed using the word and saying ‘I’m not a feminist but…’.
Feminists have to move away from the po-faced and earnest reputation that has given us a reputation for being exclusive and humourless. We must not be deterred from joining the debate, particularly online where women often get a rough ride from comments left by anonymous participants in chatrooms and discussion boards.
We need some clear aims and to be able to define what it is that we want when we talk about feminism and equality. One of the big problems with feminism is that people are scared to use the word in case they are challenged on what it means and don’t know the answer.
We need to accept that you can be feminine and feminist if you want, and that one doesn’t preclude the other. This works in both directions – feminists must not deride other women for dressing in a particular way and women who do wear sexy, revealing or feminine outfits should not feel this excludes them from being a feminist.
We have to accept that women need to be able to make their own choices. So women who choose traditionally un-feminist roles such as being the primary care giver or homemaker, or hold views such as being anti-abortion, providing these are real choices, can be just as valid feminists as women who make other choices.
We need to refuse to buy in to the idea that there is a female way to do things, be it people who suggest adversarial politics doesn’t work for women or those who say that women are better at communications and softer skills.
None of these compare remotely with the sacrifices made by the hunger strikers, but they will help to continue their work. And though compared to getting the vote these may seem like small issues, what we want is an equal society, not a society that is less unequal than it used to be.
Maybe women have to stop penning articles under such pathetic titles as ‘why does no one take us seriously’ and then suggest that a major cause of offense is being called ‘darling’ by a passing man or an admin mistake calling them Mrs Something or other. Maybe women have to stop worrying about this trivial stuff and sat making sure they have a voice on what really matters. Economy, education, health defence. stop wasting your time whining about petty nonsense and start telling me what you think about the world and how you’ll make changes.
I’m a woman and thats what it’ll take for me to take other women seriously.
Well said Jessica. This article reminds me why I don’t live in London – nobody north of Watford (in fact probably no one outside of Islington) could have written such ridiculous tripe. I have lots of senior female colleagues who I respect and value. I take them seriously when they talk sense (which is most of the time ) and not when they don’t. They treat me in the same way. Similarly, when I look at this site and read, eg Rachel Reeves on the economy, I take her seriously because he has something incisive and valuable to say. Do I treat you seriosly? Not on the evidence of this article.
I often wonder what men have to do to get taken seriously. Outside of the self-charmers in the circle of light defined by Oxbridge, by lawyers, by the SE and especially by London dwellers, just about the only chance for men to break into elected national politics is to be the local boy done good; assuming that the local scene allows that to happen, of course;
but even then a London originating parachutist – of either sex – is quite likely to arrive trailing clouds of Leadership approval. And if it does happen to be a woman, my experience (49 years) suggests that she will scoop the pool: regardless. Hence we see women parachutists taking easy precedence over local men – regardless of abilities. It nearly occurred again in Erith, but the local Party stood up to the machine, amazingly, and won. No doubt that will provide more ‘proof’of not being taken seriously to those who have more interest in gender issues than
fostering and managing a healthy mixed talent pool.